The Bachelors Meal Written By Larry Patterson

A bachelors meal. What kind of meal would that be? A microwave shit dinner. The single meal, for one poor single man. Wrapped in plastic! Healthy portion of garbage. Punishment for us single men that hate cooking. I can see my reflection in the plastic of this hideous dinner. My face generally looking disappointed. I take my meal to the back room of my house. Set this horrible meal on my computer desk, on top of my keyboard. The plastic is now off, taaa daahh there she is in all her glory. So the fun begins. Chew, gag, chew! The only way this washes down good is with some cheap beer. When the beer kicks in the food is not so bad.


So what does a man think after eating this type of meal?


I usually wonder how being pampered by a woman feels. Shortly after I remember the headaches women cause. That in itself makes my meal seem like lobster. We can't all do the husband thing. Women come, women go. I personally prefer the "go" more. They say the right one is out there somewhere. Don't worry more are in the sea. We all heard that before right? Yes. Time goes on things become draining being single. You wake up in a bed filled with so many different perfume smells but no ones staying there. You begin wondering when you'll fall in love. You look at the thinning hair on your head. The young man you once looked at in the mirror is fading away. You get angry. You begin thinking of the enormous amount of women you been with thinking one of these had to be real love. Nope, not even close.


Then you think of all the hurt each one caused. You shake your head at the ones that said they loved you. Laughing at the ones that said they'd never leave. A man goes through a lot. Even though women think they are the only ones ever getting hurt. Trust me, men do get hurt. I've been hurt many times. We never give up after. One woman saves you from the next. After she saves you the clock is set. That clock is timed for when she knifes your back.

Long story short.
Being single is not that bad.
Being hurt is a lot worse than eating shit dinners.
Women don't know what they want.
They want love.
When you give them love they don't cherish it.
They still keep searching for what they already have.
The whole thing nowadays is playing musical chairs with the opposite sex. Switching guys, girls every other day.

You can't find much in a pile.
Most likely not love.
Plus you hurt a lot of people that way.
You only find a headache.
Not love, just sex.
Sex is not love.




Hey, but on the bright side.
Chasing skirts never get's old.
Chasing love does though....


The End

~ Larry Patterson